You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
