Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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