U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
