She announced her abortion via fbk
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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