Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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