If that was your dad, he is hot
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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