I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
