There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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