i can't believe i had my finger in that
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
