so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
