he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
