Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
