No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
