We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
