and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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