i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
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