I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
only you would photoshop your dick
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
