The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
