evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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