I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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