To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
