I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
