theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
