Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We had to coat check the pizza.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
