Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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