chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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