every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
