is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
