so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
