We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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