if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
