Welp...herpes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
