he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
