I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
