I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
