Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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