She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
