I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
