when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
