if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
