bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
