A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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