My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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