Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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