another moral hangover. fuck.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
