i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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