They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
