how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
