You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
