Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
