Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
